PRIVATE BENJAMIN Remake To Be Remade

Goldie Hawn rolls her eyes at you.

Why can’t Hollywood leave a good thing alone? New Line Cinema is in talks to remake the 1980 feminist masterpiece, Private Benjamin. Goldie Hawn, nominated for an Oscar, plays the title role; a wealthy woman who’s husband dies on their wedding night, during the consummation, and witlessly enlists in the military. Jessica Simpson remade Benjamin into Private Valentine, a film (if one can even call it that) about a movie star who elists in the army after going broke. The newest attempt is rumored to star Anna Faris, of Scary Movie fame. While I’m certain Faris will fair better than Simpson in the role, this needs to stop.

If the Private Benjamin concept where actually Private Benjamin then New Line Cinema is the evil French guy that tries to make her more beautiful by making her wear ugly French clothes and die her hair orange. Too sweeping of a metaphor? DON’T DO IT NEW LINE I WILL COME AFTER YOU!

Via ONTD